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Within my therapy room, and indeed in my own life and the life of people I am proud to have shared with, I understand the damage that people who are narcissistic (ego-centric and one end and sociopaths & psychopaths at the other) have caused, and will cause. These broken individuals are the reasons why crimes are committed, why bad things can happen and also provides us with the answers as to why their are Hitler’s, Peter Sutcliff’s and why domestic abuse happens. Donald Trump is a text book example of how people can get caught up in their (short-lasting) charisma.
Anyhow, I attach below a first-hand account of a person I admire, who managed to escape from a narcissistic relationship and got on with their life. (I have taken this from my old website www.copingwithmynarcissist.com).
If you are in an abusive relationship then please call the following helplines, there is a way out.
24-hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline 0808 2000 247
Victim Support Helpline 0808 1689111
Comment by Mark Jones Hypnotherapy
In my experience, Narcissists appear to exploit victims that are younger than them, vastly less experienced, who are emotionally vulnerable and who have yet been unable to create a life path for themselves. They seem to exploit people who are at a cross roads in their lives which makes it easy for them to lead them in ‘their’ preferred direction. The line ‘a leopard never changes its spots’ is no truer then when applied to a narcissist. They ‘die by their own sword’ as their behaviour often goes in cycles and or is repeated. They often have a favourite child if they do have children and try by all means to develop a ‘mini me’ in order to continue their reign. They love hero worship and gain their own self worth from the adoration of others as their own self value is in fact very low. On the outside they are incredibly charming, often with a facade of wealth and glamour. A prison officer I recently spoke with told me that the most charming quiet people in prison are often the
perpretrators of hideous sexual and violent crimes against women. They are often incredibly generous with big showers of gifts and over the top gestures, what they are unable to give howeve, is genuine care and affection. The desire to take what others have and get more and more is always a driving force for sufferers of NPD.
Their behaviour tends to be to isolate victims from their families and friends in order for them gain ‘complete’ power. Their aim to is control the victim through financial restraint, isolation, bullying, physical and verbal abuse and to ultimately destroy self confidence and self worth.
Living with a narcissist for 12 years and later being made aware of this condition, MASSIVELY helped me to overcome years of physical and mental abuse. I’ve also discovered in later years that I’m a much stronger person than I knew or suspected. Due to a counsellor explaining to me that I was a victim of NPD, I was able to move on and stop blaming myself for other people’s behaviour. It’s taught me that people ‘choose’ how they behave and equally I can ‘choose’how I deal with it and whether to accept it. My reason for writing this is to encourage others to recognise the symptoms of this behaviour and to stop thinking ‘things will change, it will get better, if I wasn’t this.. They wouldn’t be that’. Stop! These people are dangerous for you. Good luck and please seek help – it is out there!