Loneliness/ Poor Social Interaction? – Don’t suffer in silence, take action now!

lonely man on the bench autumn, winter

lonely man on the bench autumn, winter

With the weather as it currently is, all cold and rainy, we all have a tendency to hide away, cover our faces with our scarves and generally keep ourselves to ourselves.

I did an experiment this morning on my 40 minute walk into work. It was cold and raining and it would have been easy for me to have not spoken to anyone on my journey (and often I don’t). I asked myself how many people could I say “Good morning” to, so I tried it: I talked to 12 people, 8 replied with a smile and a “Good morning” back, 2 looked at me in horror and said nothing, and 2 totally ignored me. Now how many of those people may not actually speak to anyone else at all for the rest of the day? How many then went on to interact with others, positively. And how many thought about that interaction and felt better for it. Interestingly, by the time I’d got to work, I felt motivated, positive and tackled a job that I’d been avoiding for weeks!

Keeping oneself to oneself is ok for a short time. However, one of the essential areas that my client’s learn when they are with me (there are 7 in total) is the importance of interaction: The ability to interact positively with our friends, colleagues, family and loved ones. Each of those social groups adds something to our lives and we need a balance of all of those interactions.

People that focus predominantly on work, may be lacking in close friends outside. Somebody who spends all of their time with their partner may have dropped interaction with their friends or shy’s away from work get-togethers. And some may spend all of their time down the pub with their friends and forgets they are in a relationship….and some don’t interact with anyone.

Any of those scenarios above show a lack of balance, and balance is key. So what is it that stops us interacting, making friends, agreeing to going out for birthdays etc etc: lonely people tend to become very good at excuses for why they can’t attend a get-together, and then people stop asking them out altogether.

Loneliness or poor interaction is typically down to lack of confidence in being with that ‘other’ social group(s) that we avoid. If we are feeling confident about ourselves then we enjoy meeting other people, we are interested in what others say, we share stories (my clients will understand how sharing stories are incredibly important is dealing with anxiety, anger and stress), we listen better, we ask better questions, we convey ourselves more eloquently, we discover opportunities (making our own luck) and we expand our social circles.

All of the above in turn allows us to look at our lives, in all aspects, more positively, and ultimately great a happier life: if we are happy, we deal with problems better and we seek opportunities.

If you feel that you need help in dealing with loneliness, struggle mixing with people or lack confidence then I can help you. Message me or call (07890031223) to arrange a FREE consultation, and start to take back control of your life.

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